Here I sit. Dressed in normal clothes just enough so the fed ex guy doesnt laugh (at least to my face) and toiling away in photoshop, canvas sizing, print orders... many of the things a working photographer does on a daily basis. Yes, working. As in, busy. And I have to remind myself of that sometimes. Whatever path I have been on to get to here allows me to be doing what I want to be doing, yet somehow doesnt always let me feel...well... worthy, I guess.
This isn't a pity party post, though. :) It's a "thank you" post, if you will. See, I was working this weekend, doing a photoshoot for a local high school graduation. They've had me do LOTS of stuff for them this year, which is wonderful, but this assignment in particular was a bit more simply "picture taking" than anything artsy. Wasn't somethign I could put much of my own spin on.
I started to get this "ugh' feeling when shortly after I got there, I run into a videographer who was about 25 years older than me, oddly handing his business card out to everyone, and throwing out words like "gamma" to whomever was in earshot. I felt a little sorry for him because you could just TELL he felt like he had to compete, initially with me, and ESPECIALLY when the big guns (channel4 and the star telegram) walked in. That business- that corporate media wheel... it sucks you in and spits the older ones out... unless they STAND out. Fortunately, my life path took me out before I got spit out, but the feeling of ALWAYS HAVING to create and be creative to stay relevant hasn't gotten away from me, and sometimes the pressure Im putting on myself with my business makes me want to give it up altogether.
So here comes the uplifting part (for me anyway.) While I was walking around getting shots, a woman walked up to me and said, "Are you Holly? Are you Sillyheads?"
A bit taken aback, I answered "Yes, I am!"
Then she quickly said something that went like, "Wow! Its so great to meet you! I just LOVE your pictures, and I always read your blog! Do you have a card? Id love to get some pictures done soon!"
I felt like a mini super star! It was exactly what I needed. In this business (or life) where you find yourself feeling not good enough, not creative enough, or in any way less than perfect, a "pat on the back" is sometimes all it takes.
There have been many times I've been pressed for time and have neglected to blog about any pictures I've taken as of late. Now, though, I'm going to think twice about putting it off, if only for my new friend who looks forward to reading my blog.
So here are some recent shots- just because Im feeling... WORTHY! :)
A big smile!
My latest inspiration... (no touch ups... really.)
And a TRUE laugh!
Oh, and this was a picture my husband was looking at over my shoulder a while back and said, "You HAVE to put that on your blog." This was a fun family who just wanted a group photo where they were all happy and looking at the camera. Their two little boys weren't very into having their picture taken, though, so we resorted to a game of ball- them throwing it at me and me throwing it back andI just kep clicking. We did this quite a few times, just to make sure we got the shot... and this time my aim was, ummmm, accurate.
Remember, Im ONLY sharing this becuase he was A-OKAY! The ball was super soft, but the expression on his face was priceless, and we all laughed really hard.
Thanks for being a part of Sillyheads, however small or large! And if you see me around, lets give each other pats on the backs. :)
